Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Assalamualaikum. Hai. :)

Sitting alone here, in cafeteria while everyone is staring at me like I'm doing something wrong. What's your problem, dude? It's not like I've committed any crime here. I'm just blogging, you know. Haiya. Make me feel like to poke into their eyes. Stop staring at me! I know you see an angel right now. Okay, not. Kidding. Haha. 

What am I doing here, alone? Okay, my friends going back home, some on a date and some MIA. The one that staying here now only those international students. Feels like I'm with them, too. Haha. Actually, I do feel like to write all the time. That's why you can see so many update from me nowadays. If not, I know this place will look like a ghost town. Probably.

When I'm in here, mostly will speak Malay of course but I do prefer speak in English. It's not that I'm very good in English but I barely understand the way people here speak in Malay. Haha. Yes, I'm Malay. Well, in Sarawak, people that speak Malay will pronounce words by 'baku'-ing it. Here, they always put an 'e' for an ending of 'a' letter words. When they speak too fast, then I couldn't understand a word at all. They will repeat their words for me at least twice. Pity on them. Eh? Pity on me laa. Some of them even asked me, 'Do Sarawakian speaks English in their daily life?'. Well, no. We have our own native language. It's unique and we do have different languages. I can't speak every language in Sarawak for sure but I do understand some words. Guys, I miss to speak Sarawak language. :)

Hm, he's not here. So, kbye! Haha.

*Why they are still staring at me? Bebual eh, bebual. Tukuk sekali baruk sedar kali. Ngeng juak. Orang sitok nang suka nangga orang menali ka? Adeh, pangkak ku dik lagik!*

That day was a fairytale

Assalamualaikum. Hai :)

Seems like story-telling of the happy-ending-fairy-tale still clinging out in this era. If only happy-ending do exist, person like me will really appreciate it. People do like story of love. Love, happens in every corner of life. Allah, religion, family, friends, teachers, lecturers, older, younger, leader, followers, people, animals, worlds etc. Description of love can be expressed in many words and ways. 

For the love that I feel right now is the love that I give to what am I doing right now. I do love this moment, this time although I've tried my hardest to adapt to this life. Its not like I've been leaving the student's life for ages but to do this once again is really hard for me. Well, it's different from what I'm doing before. I'm taking a completely different path and place. But I do prefer now than before in the view of the path (course). And I do really love the place before than now. Hehe. This place is not bad at all but seriously I do miss the place before. 

Okay, enough with all those things. Miss, love, what-so-ever blablabla. I'm not in the right topic, people. Hehe. I want to share a story line that I've got here right after the Induction Week *about last 2 weeks*. 

I've known this person and I love her smile. She's kind of cute and pretty. A real beauty for me. Hehe. She's adorable, love to smile and laugh, fashionable, tall girl, and smart in her own way. Well, this type of girl would definitely get so much attention from others especially guys. And yes! I'm right. Even our facilitator also has a crush on her. Much. She had a special boyfriend. Take note, HAD. Yes, breakup a few days after classes start. Reason? I would not blaming her for that since I know what had happened here during that time. Yes, we're a kind of busy but for me it's not really that busy. Maybe for someone that having no experience with this situation, yes, it was a very busy week, or days. I know she still in love with her ex-boyfriend but girl, please, if breakup is the one you want so move on. You're the one who keep that distance longer than before. So, please, be strong. I know you can do it. You go girl! There so much charming and good boys waiting for you. Just let your heart and eyes open wide. Maybe, he is just next to you :)

Actually distance is not a very good reason for a relationship. It's all about trust. Yes, trust. Try to trust your partner but don't over-limit. For trusting someone a hundred percent is wrong. It's dangerous. Give the trust, the love and the affection to yourself before you do it on someone else. Trust me, you'll never get hurt too much later on. I've done it and still doing it. I've try to limit my feeling with someone when I'm having a crush or people do say "love at the first sight". Well, it's not love. Dude, don't bluff. Haha. Love is not something that we should just take it easy. It's hard to fall in love actually. It does require so many aspect to love someone. I'm not being choosy but I'm being shy in this kind of thing. Yeah, I do carefully choose a person but it's not really hard. It's just I'm too shy for saying out my own feeling. Well, I do write it in the blog where I know that person will not read my posts. Confident. Haha. I will definitely not letting him know how do I feel. Hehe. Well, I really do not believe in a fairytale-happy-ending in this real life. :)

Well, it's true. Work for it. Ignore this feeling should be better than meet him and say "Aku suka Kamu". 

#notetomyself

See, Arina, you're not brave enough. That person say "Hi" to you and you dah macam kucing nak beranak. Come on. Make him as your friend. Takyah la terus nak tersasul semua perkataan. Haha. Like seriously you blushing that moment. People will know laa. Haiya. That person doesn't know yet but you do look flutter in front of him. *one sweet moment.keke* Apa nak jadi? Kbye!

Random

Assalamualaikum. Hai :)

Now, I do post something random since I accidentally view this photo. Where? Where the photo? Haiya. Okay, I do personally like this photo. Well, it's candid and feels like I'm a very very so much famous person in that place lol. Haha. I do remember one of my junior, in UiTM, has commented on this picture when he saw it. So panjang ooo komen. Firstly, thank you. :) 

"Kak, you know what is the most obvious thing happen in this photo? You do look so happy here. Look gorgeous. And plus I love your smile with your so much dimples there. Hehe. You're the one that always give inspiration to me, to all of us. Hmph I'm gonna miss you. On your convocation, I'll wait for you and give you flowers. Many many. Take care kak. :)"

Haiyaa, I do miss you too. When I'm not in mood, sad, or angry, you're the one that always be with me. And I'm the one will be the shoulder for you to cry on, the ears to hear everything you say, forever and always. Hehe. Macam orang bercinta la pulak. Keep in touch. I know you always whatsapp me and sorry for not really give a response due to line problem. Have faith and always be happy, okay? :)

Okay, I know. It less than expected but that his point. I know I'm always gorgeous mama's daughter. Haha.

Muntah hijau! Sekarang :p

Need to adapt

Assalamualaikum. Hai :)

Wow, I'm gonna be in the 3rd week starting next week. Time flew too fast. I do try to adapt the student's lifestyle in here, in IUKL. It's one of the hardest thing that I'd ever try. The style of lecture, student's life, timetable and even the student portal are really really new for me. I take 6 courses with a total of 14 credits. It's quite low compare to my Diploma time. And something really surprised me about all the courses in this campus. It's only take a class per subject. Which means that I only have 6 classes per week. It's heaven. I don't have any class in Tuesday and Friday. Before, in UiTM, we will have lecture, tutorial and lab session which take 2 or 3 times of class per week. Well, that should be more look like a student's life for me. Going to class early morning until dawn, having much time in class compare to my room, and sometimes do not take any meals in the noon *Yes, I do exaggerate*. Haha. However, I prefer that busy life than now. Hm. Maybe I will taste that busyness later. Maybe. 

Again, I'm alone in the room, singing out loud *more to melalak*. Haha. Yala, everyone here rumah dekat dekat maa. Everyone will going back during weekend. Can I going back to Sarawak? Hehe. Luruh rambut mak bapak eh. Haha. Some of my friends do stay in here but well, it's weekend guys. Everyone going out with bf/gf leaving me alone blablabla. Haha. Jealous mode on. Wink wink. My mum ask me to start searching for the one erhem erhem. But don't you think that it's too early for me? I'm just 11 this year. Perasan sorang. Well, frankly speaking, I do found someone, here. It's only a crush and I do think that my feeling will fade away, sometimes later :) *Gosh, he's hot! Giggle*

I call him Mr S-S-B. If you ever read the Malay novel title "Untuk Semua Dosaku", then you know what that name stands for. Hehe. Well, S-S-B stands for Sexy-Smart-Beard. Wuhuu. Smart giler doe! He's taking Bachelor in Civil Engineering, I don't know what semester is he in now but I do know his age. In July this year, he will turn 21. Still young while I thought he should be more than 23 lol. Haha. Maybe because of his appearance that looks matured that his real age. Okay, that's enough Rin! :)

I need beach right now. Please, where got beach here lor? Haiya. Kachiwa ini orang.

This mean so much to me

Assalamualaikum. Hi :)

Just had little conversation with my mama and that gave me a feeling that I can't deny. I miss them so much. It's not like I never been apart from them. I do have so. However, each time I go off, that feeling should come over and over again. 

Since my faculty's block is so so damn far away from everyone, my mama asked me to drive back her car at Terengganu and going back to KL.  I'm just okay with the fact that the block is too far since it's still in a walking distance. Just the route that I should take is scary and full of bushes. And I'm a girl. That's the fact! It's too dangerous for a girl to walk alone in that place. 

Actually, I should have been in bus, taking a trip to Terengganu at this moment. The problem that had just occurred is that there is no one can accompany me. Of course my mama wouldn't let me go, alone. 

Ho ha ho ha ho ha then come a decision from my ayah that is heartbreakingly real.

I do cry when my mama said that ayah took earlier plane to Kelantan and get into a bus to Terengganu tonight just to take that car and drive to KL alone tomorrow, which is the real situation is I'm the one who need that car, not him. And he just finished his don't-know-what-kursus at Johor today. I know, he's really tired and need to work again on Monday. I don't know why he did so much for me. I feel so cruel for letting him into a trouble because of me. For everything that you did for the past 15 years, I do really appreciate them. You do have your own problem, works, and need time for yourself but yet you did this for me. Thanks a lot, ayah :')

If people see how he treat me, they will say that he is really my real dad. Yes, he is my dad. I give all my love, care, respect and responsibilities as a child to her dad to him. I should. The reality is just unfair for me. And him. We're not really in a blood-relationship but just in a name. He is just my stepfather. But everything he did, took him into a very special place in my heart. He never been unfair to me, he do treat me the same as his own children, he never hesitate to give me money, to buy me something and he do proudly say to everyone that I'm his daughter. We're not really close but I do feel that I really have a very caring dad :)

Take care, ayah. Have a safe journey. Allah be with you. My doa will always be with you. 

Thank you...

9th Day

Assalamualaikum. Hi.

Wow, it’s my 9^th days in IUKL. Oh gosh. People, I’m in IUKL now. Getting into the Mechanical Engineering course which has been my very first dream before. Luckily, I’m not going into Swinburne. Hehe. What is IUKL stands for? It’s Infrastructure University Kuala Lumpur which is located at Kajang. It’s just directly beside UNITEN. I’ve decided to take this opportunity because of some factors. First, it’s Mechanical guys! I’ve desperately want to be in this so called family. Hehe. Second, IUKL is one of the top IPTS in Malaysia. Well, Engineering for future. Just look out for IUKL in Google and you’ll know. 5-tier SETARA, accreditation from MQA, and one of the recognised school of engineering or should I say faculty (?). Hehe. Third, it’s an interesting experience to be in a school of much culture variation. Since it’s an international school, there’s a lot of international students here. I’ve known people from Fiji Island, Qatar, India, Indonesia, Philippines, Arab Saudi and Nigeria. They’re so friendly and it’s not feel awkward at all.

Well said, it’s a very good decision to enrol in this school.

However, I do prefer to be in UiTM, again. Huhu. Please UiTM, I want you. Yes, YOU! Let me get into the faculty of Mech Eng. Please, I’m begging you. I love how we share, we care, we study, and how we get along together in UiTM. I do miss my friends and lecturers, the lecture, the place, kolej seri gading, Desa Ilmu, blok H and everything. Waa, definitely UiTM Di Hatiku :)

Byebye.

12 JUNE 2013

Ya ALLAH, permudahkan perjalanan ku untuk mencapai apa yang dicita-citakan.

Amin.

Since I've got what I desperately want, I should do my very best. I have this chance to study again, so have to do well. Good luck ARINA! Have faith. 

Mak, take care. Jangan sakit-sakit gik. Please. Will miss you.

P/s : ByeBye Bintulu. Hello Kuala Lumpur :)

Bad Girl

Hi. Assalamualaikum.

This is really a rough time for you when you really need someone to do things and spoken up for you but then there is no one. Everything I do, I do it myself, without anyone. Like my mum said, I am her one and only child that is overly independent. Doing everything and anything alone, without her help. Maybe I need her help sometimes but yes. I'm the one that doesn't really need any help from others. Even in my kindy days, I did the registration all by myself. Haha. 4 years old kid plus a girl doing the registry by herself. Even though, I'm still good working in a group. Hehe. Angkat bakul sendiri. 

Then, when I'm known as Miss Independent, now everyone around me gonna make sure that I do my job nicely. Alone. Sometimes, I felt like I also need someone doing things for me. But perfectly attach with that name will definitely make me end up doing things alone, again. Huh. Sigh.
However, doing things myself really got me a highly self-respect to myself. Sometimes we need to be independent because its not like everyone could be on our side when we need them. Since I'm getting overly used to it, I'm still can breath calmly although been on a very rough path. Now, in my situation, its not really need me to be independent but I need someone to discuss with.
Without my mum besides me, I've decided not to enroll into UNITEN because of some reasons. First of all, I'm offered into Bachelor of Computer and Communication Engineering which is basically studying about electronics and a lil bit of electric. I'm okay with mechanics, thermo, automotive, fluids, and even robotics but not for electric and electronic. So, I'm giving up that offer letter and waiting for others. Hope for getting into UiTM again and getting an offer into Mechanical Engineering. I don't really care if need to study for another 4 years (total of 7 years + Diploma) if I really can get into Mech Eng :) Amin.

P/S : Watch Lee Hyori with her comeback song, Bad Girl. She's hot. A totally gorgeous. Her m/v is great! :)